If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
