Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
