susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize