Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
