I looked at my own cervix.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
