ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
