oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
