at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize