My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
