So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
