I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
