you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
