You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
