He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
