im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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