just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
