You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
