I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
