I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
