i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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