The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
