Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
