shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
