at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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