You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I am available for nakedness
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
