oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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