Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
