Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
