Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
