So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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