he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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