My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
