why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
