Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just pee around me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
