I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
