I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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