I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
