so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
