This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize