i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize