my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
