I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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