OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
love makes seman taste better
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
