return my video game
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
