Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
