i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize