Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
