Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
