Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
