I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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