I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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