No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
