Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
