He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
