So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
