They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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