Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
zippers are such a cool invention
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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