I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
