her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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