OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
