For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
