Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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