That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
