nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
