who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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