She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
