____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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