VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
