cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
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