WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i've created a new STD.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How does it feel to date your dad?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
